i've got a qn.

xmas is coming. it's the season to be jolly. fwa la la la la la la la la. yes, it's also the season of giving. so now i've got a qn.

exactly who's giving?

and i've got two other qns.

exactly when is too much, too much? when do you know when to stop and mb, juz mb, start taking?

mb it's juz me. i'm not used to giving in. so this time, it's either i get more time to get used to it. or i dun wanna give in anymore.

ur choice. u choose.

and sometimes it gets tiring to be placed in second, third and fourth place almost all the time. mb sometimes i deserve to be first, too.

the jasmine flower in that glass bottle
its leaves are no longer green
it's like our memories
which seem to be drifting further and further away

waterdrops on that windowpane
seep slowly into the walls
it's like you
who won't seem to go away

slowly
such a weather
becomes suitable for thinking of you
for building up emotions
and we're breathing the same air

slowly
the time is ticking away
my beauty is some distance from me
i can't seem to get the misery you feel

raindrops are no longer falling
yet i'm still here
where we were
i just need more time to catch your attention

raindrops are no longer falling
i'm still thinking of u and me
pretending that things are still fine
between us

i love you
i really love you

after all those yrs of searching.. mb wht i really need is..

someone who'd do anything for me.

and someone whom i'd do anything for.

can u do without me?

can u live without me?

if u can then i'll let u go.


the scary thing is..

no matter wht happens, it's possible to continue living.

the way you walk into the room.

last mon i had my econs paper. it sucked. big time. can't believe i didn't opt out of it. stupid girl!

haiz.

now it's alr thurs morn - 4.52a.m. to be exact, and i'm still mugging thru the mkting textbk. paper's tmr. at 5p.m. at sch of bio sci. so supposedly i can slp in a bit ltr and go off straight for the paper. wanted to do tt AND some last min revision before the paper itself, but this guy had to go mess my schedule up. ok, granted he's a nice guy, but still!! met him in FOC, not v close to him la but he's taking mkting elec and he needs the textbk cos it's also an open-bk exam. the paper's on the same day but diff timing - his paper starts and 1pm and ends at 3.30pm, which is one and a half hour before mine. so he asked if i could lend him the textbk. and i said yes. now im suffering cos im still left with one chapter more and tt means another hr at my study desk with the lights on and without much slp and with deeper and ugly lking eyebags. my biological clock's gg cuckoo. hopefully i can adjust it for my next paper aftr mkting - stats, which happens in the earli morn - 9 am.

stats - last paper!! aftr tt, i can finally go back home and haf a gd nite's rest. many gd nites' rests in fact, tt is, until i get my results back. haiz. hopefulli i did ok for this exam. i dun want it to be juz a 'learning' sem - i wanna learn AND score well, too. but one cannot be too greedy in life. hopefully next sem i'd haf gotten used to uni life and the adjustment'll help me plan better when it comes to studying.

one thing for sure, though, i'll try not to miss my lects next yr. the key word is 'try'. and i found out tt u can't exactly plan ur timetable as freely as u want. cos some lecturers haf such busy schedules tt their lects can onli be held in the mornings. bummer.

kinda slpy and the average time taken to get a sentence in seems to get longer and longer. technically, aftr im done with 3 more pages of my existing chapter (advertising), i still haf a few more chaps, not juz the one i wanna do (global mkting). not wanna do, but haf to do since it has appeared in past yr papers for more than once. i still haf wholesalers, digital mkting and mkting ethics to go thru! but heck it. i dun give a damn le. it's madness. 20 chaps in 2 and a half days?

NTU muz be out of its freakin' mind.

omg. juz had my first paper of my whole uni life. the one i spent 6 days mugging. sat all the way to thurs.

it was all rite. at least i somewht knew wht i was doing and writing. but it's madness. literally. i mean, how do they expect us to write like, 8 essays in 2 bloody hrs?? it's virtually impossible to give gd quality ans for all. i'm not tt much of a genius. in fact, im not a genius at all, so i dunno how they can expect me to score well. hopefully i pass the overall paper and hopefully my other 50% of case report, presentation etc can pull my final grade up.

they said tt the person collecting ur paper'll be marking ur papers. cos every one in our class were spread out randomly. i had no idea who the pple arnd me were and their matric no as well as surname shld be totally diff, too. but i hope tt's not the case, cos one old mean lady collected my paper. she practically snatched it outta my hands la. :( i hope it's marked by our tutor. she's lenient. i like. :)

preparing for econs rite now. left with one more macro chap - exchange rate and 9 more bloody micro chaps. disgsuting. i hate micro. and the exam's of a closed-bk format. hopefully i rmb everything i studied so far la.. haiz. need to read thru everything once more. wht a chore.

i'm so afraid for mkting. i haf no idea how im gonna finish the entire textbk in like, 3 days la. n my concepts arent tt gd either, even aftr doing proj and case study. it's like i've fogotten everything. and in mkting, u're supposed to be creative as well. i dun think i'm a creative person. so yes, im pretty much screwed for mkting. even though i need abt 12 marks out of 100 to pass overall. but i dun wanna just pass!! biz subs are supposed to be EASIER than acct subs. so y am i struggling now??? this is bad. though i can't wait for next sem, where there'd be a module on IT. prob teaching u how to remove the thumbdrive and other hardware safely. er. right.

haha all righty gtg study le.. if not i'll nvr be able to prepare myself enough for mon paper. plus the econs elec paper was kinda tough and the course coordinator is the same for both econs elective and core module. :S

ciao. i'll c u when i get there.

becos u juz know.




right?

the right thing is always the hardest thing to do. as meredith in grey's anatomy once said, 'you can haf anything you want in the world, just as long as you're willing to give everything else up'.

how would you know when's the right time for wht? for people doing biz, biz acumen's impt for selecting the right time for the right decisions. but decisions regarding other more emotional matters in life aren't always that easy to make.

when you make a decision in life, is it truly the right one? or is there reli no such thing as 'the right one'?

when's the right time for love? is there (or will there ever be) a right time to fall in love?

i toked to john earlier this morn on the bus to class. 'is it ever possible to like 2 pple at one time?' i asked, half expecting him to say 'no'. but instead, he said, 'it depends la.'

'on wht?'

'dunno. it juz depends.'

'every one onli has one heart. how is it ever possible to like 2 pple at the same time?'

and he smiled a bit. he replied, 'well, there's got to be one whom u like more.'

hm. is tt right? no matter how many pple you can like at one time, ultimately, eventually and finally, you'll probably turn to onli one. becos tt's the one u noe u truly want. tt's the one you feel most comfortable about and with. tt's the one you finally decide upon.

sometimes, i believe (strongly) that one can fall in love onli once in their entire lives.

so when you think you've fallen in love.. is it the right kind of fall?

is it the only kind of fall?

becos it feels like dragging an empty shell around..

doing mkting case now!! aftr the mkting proj still got this lor. so xian.

i'm sooo tired!! chronic lack of slp, as many pple seem to love saying nowadays. i've been slping at 2-3am almost every nite. ok granted, i dun wake up tt earli every morn either but tt's not the pt. it shldnt be like this. this is all due to inconsistency. haiz. i noe i'm not the onli one suffering, but tt doesnt make things any easier. even now, i feel like slping alr. but still muz do 7Ps. to recall: place, people, promotion, process, physical evidence, product/service and price. disgusting. then muz do STP: targetted segmentation and positioning. plus SR: strategic recommendations. all this muz be done aftr we're done with TOWS: threats, opportunities, weaknesses and strengths. and then finally, the conclusion. abt a 100 plus slides, i shld think.

havent touched mkting textbk. dun rmb anything abt OBD i've read so far. econs is basically juz hard, esp micro. and stats is disgusting. juz plain boring.

i heard abt smth yst - smth quite saddening. smth tt happened in rwanda - the killings between the hutus and the tutsies, if im not wrong. dunno how to spell but anw, it's sad to hear it becos pple out there are suffering so much more than we all are and yet we're complaining abt it non-stop. this is life. every time i mention tt human beings are nvr contented, i dun stop to realize tt this may not be our fault. situations and envt define u and ur content level. like in singapore, the content level may onli be satisfied when we haf a car or a decent house. not juz a roof over our heads. but it wun be the case in rwanda or africa. all they want is a proper roof tt doesnt leak. they'd be happy if they haf tt. but once they haf it (if they ever haf it), would they be satisfied for long? or soon aftr, if everyone arnd them starts getting tt as well, they'd feel less contented than before? the past is the past - they might cherish wht they haf in the present when comparing their present situation to tt in the past, but in the long run, as time passes, the present becomes the past. who knows wht'll happen in the future?

i noe i'm prob toking nonsense and if u skipped tt long para, i'd totally understand. in fact, im not expecting anyone to read it. mb it's exam stress.

diff coutries haf diff probs but some of the probs tt these poorer ctries face juz make us lk more shallow, ain't it?

but life's like that. u gotta smile thru it, cry thru it, wipe ur tears away and then move on. it sux sometimes.

it's like having cold water being sprouted up ur ass.

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