this is day 2 of camp.

day 3, actually, if u count sunday evening, which was day 0. which sounds pretty nonsensical if u ask me.

anw, i hate this yr's freshies. most of the dragon batch girls are so bloody irritatingly spoilt. (and this is coming from me. so how bad do u think they are?) i emphasized 'most', becos if i rmb correctly, ben's vibha is oso a 'dragon'. but she's definitely not like tht. so why are the rest like that???

they're so spoilt. and a few of the girls think tht they can get away with things juz cos they're pretty. and my block is now suddenly the 'foreigner' block. damn it to hell, man. it's practically 30% singaporeans onli, i think. no offense though. i'm not so much of a nationalist, but the malaysians (at least those in foc) pretty much like keeping to themselves exclusively. i mean, then stay at home. or dun come to FOC. there's this girl in hall (my block, unfortunately) thinks she can get away with anything. the more unfortunate thing is, she's not even a looker. not in the least.

they complain like hell, whine like hell, shout like hell, and then complain some more. and the worst thing is tht the main comm doesnt even have the sub comm grp leaders to support us. blk xx's leaders (except one of them, who's surprisingly not frm their block) act like we're supposed to be serving them. they're always giving us orders. things like, 'no more spicy food, pls. we have no more voice.'

or, 'are the drinks ready? the freshies are thirsty.'

or, 'the food isnt gd, the freshies are complaining tht they dun get their money's worth.'

wht. the. hell.

i mean, everyone would not have their proper voices by the end of camp. this is a known fact to anyone with common sense. and therefore they shld have alr expected tht way before the camp and brought their lozenges or whtever shit if they plan to scream and shout their way thru. if u wanted porridge every day for smth light and not too heavy for ur little throats, u shld have juz told me tht right from the start. i would have been glad to oblige u. so dun be the only group to give 'feedback' the way u give it, like the way u bark out ur orders.

secondly, there're only tht many people. either u come pour the drinks urself, or u wait. it's as simple as tht. no struggle nor fight, rite?

and thirdly, come on, u are a sub commer, u shld knw tht the canvassing amt u paid is higher than wht freshies paid to come and whine in the camp. u paid 60. they paid 50. and wht's worse, is tht the main commers paid 100. so shut up, and eat. or else, juz shut up - i dun care wht u want to do with urself. hopefully in the meantime, u bury urself in some mud, which u seem to love playing with more than eating the food.

and the caterer's giving probs. way too many probs and situations. and i dun even wanna delve into tht matter. it's too tiring. in short, there shldn't have been these problems in the first place. i knw the caterer might be trying his best, but hey, so are the rest of us. but since he's way older than i am, i shall have tht minimum respect tht pple shld have (u hear me? u stupid grp leaders from block xx and freshies) and give him the leeway tht he deserves.

but excuses are things i hate hearing. to me, either u do it, or u dun. either u screw up, or u dun.

so hopefully frm tmr till the rest of the camp, i'm gonna remain sane and somewht calm.

and resist pouring hot tea or sauce all over their heads.

becos it's one of those miracles.

where you love someone and that person loves you back.

but miracles, after all, are juz like shooting stars. they shine for tht second, but then they fade into the darkness.

miracles are juz like shooting stars. becos i believe tht shooting stars (if they ever happen at all since i've nvr seen one in my entire life of 20 years) also occur during the day, juz that A) we don't bother looking up at the sky when it's bright and sunny unless we have a death wish to be blinded by the sun & B) no one can possibly see a shooting star happen in the day even if they wanted to.

so on the rare occasion that they occur, pple usually c them in the nite. and miracles, like shooting stars, are often worth much more when pple find themselves in the darkness - where they've no clue as to where they are, or where they're supposed to go.

so in other words, when people are blissfully happy in their own worlds, they dun often c miracles happening to them. it's the people who are wallowing in the shadows tht hang on to miracles and hope for them.

hm. i actually forgot wht i was really trying to say.

nice one, yet again..

P.S. being back in hall makes me miss.. Cosmo. oh and my family, of cos.

P.P.S. Cosmo's the guy fairy in 'Fairly Odd Parents', officially my fav cartoon. it's so funny - u shld reli try watching in on Nickelodeon.

after a while.. u realize that it's useless to fight on. useless to put on a struggle.

so at the end of the day, u'll juz learn to take it as it is - don't argue / fight / put up a struggle.

some things are juz meant to be.

and some things juz aren't.

besides, i'm alr watching Harry Potter tmr (finally!), so i wun complain anymore.

nope. not anymore.

it's weird.

how can one even feel guilty abt feeling alone..

like, somehow it's not right to feel lonely. but everyone feels lonely at times, rite?

times when everyone else feels out of reach.

long time since i've updated my blog, huh? hmm now tht i dun update it so often, i guess it's not so much of a habit alr. anw, i'm done with work le. no more waking up earli (even though i woke up earli today, on a monday - will explain ltr). but tmr will be a brand new day, and i'll get my beauty slp. hopefully. haha it's not gd to slp so much too, rite?

blasting the song 'girlfriend' by avril lavigne (still like her, ben? heh). the song's quite cute. haha catchy, actually. such a girly punk song, so unlike avril. but oh wells, whtever suits her.

whew tuition'll be over in two more wks. but i feel bad. like, i'm giving up on her (somehow) when it's almost her crucial period - PSLE. but judging frm my timetable (unlike last sem which i've had 2 free wkdays) for next sem, i reli dun think i'll haf the time to teach her and balance my homework. hmm. but it's like, she's made so much progress, u knw? she juz scored the best score for a recent math test, out of her whole class! i mean, tht's reli a great improvement, smth which even i myself didnt expect. so i juz.. dun feel like giving the chance to improve her further to someone else, now tht i've gone so far. but she's not a toy, nor a product. so i'm gonna leave things in her best interest.

gg to move back hall this wkend. whew. need to start packing my bags. (sounds like i'm running away. haha) aftr much calculation (5 seconds of it, to be exact), i realized that i probably onli have one - two days to slack - max. i have a meeting on wed, tuition on thurs/fri, so tht leaves onli tues or thurs/fri (whichever day without the tuition). oh, plus i need to pack. hmm which will probably take half a day? (haha how optimistic can one get?)

i borrowed 6 lib bks at one shot (borrowed my dad's card to borrow the 2 extra). haha wonder if i can finish reading it. oh wells.

today morn i woke up at 8am!! er, ok, so it's considered earli for me. haha. anws, went to sentosa along with the FOC programmers. went to underwater world for FREE. can u believe it? pple (adults) pay $19.90 (wht psychological pricing) to get in and the few of us got in for free. hehe. so it was rather worth it to wake up earli in the morning. besides, as i said, it's not good to slp too much either. muahaha. excuses for everything - wht to do, i'm only human.

aftr the sentosa thingy, i, as the good girl tht i always am, went to give tuition to Elisha (yep, the pri 6 kid). and somewhere in tht lazy late afternoon, i realized tht despite how fairytales are made and how they end, pple somehow still dig sad endings. mb not everybody, but i'm sure somewhere deep within them, they love tht sad part, too. mb it's becos they're glad tht it's not smth tht happened to them.

like, the little mermaid. it's supposed to be a sad story, but well, as fairytales always end, 'they live happily ever after'. little mermaid was supposed to miss the deadline the sea witch gave her and she was supposed to turn into bubbles. and the prince was supposed to move on with his life and marry someone else. ariel wasn't meant to go on and have another kid. i love the little mermaid tale. but somehow becos of this hidden truth.. well, let's juz say tht i may even love tht alternative ending even more.

it's not a measure of one's sadistic nature. it's juz.. smth unexplainable, i think. juz like on fanfiction.net (a website where pple write stuff and place it on the net for open viewing), one of the best stories (judged from the total no. of readers' reviews, total no. of pple who have put in under their list of 'fav authors' etc) is actually the one with the sad ending. not the one with a 'happily ever after'. i mean, u can call me sadistic if u want, but i juz dun believe tht so many pple all over the world are sadistic, too. i mean, readers are frm NZ, england, america and even thailand. so.. tht's juz my two cent's worth.

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