just to clarify, the earlier post was just a poem i made up about anorexia. but dun worry there's nth wrong with me. i love food too much. haha

it was just a bout of inspiration and i wanted to procrastinate and not do work.

muahaha.

pretty faces staring out at you
in those porcelain doll frames
breakable, aren't they?
is it red inside, too?

it's time to eat
come on, you're not fat
it's ok
baby, please eat

run
i gotta run
please don't punish me
sorry i had dinner

pretty faces staring out at you
in those porcelain doll frames
breakable, aren't they?
is it red inside, too?

i think i got a fish bone stuck in my throat.

but it's kinda elusive.

let the nightmares stop.

sometimes i just wanna crouch in a corner

and let the truth corner me.

let the truth cover me.

strip me bare.

leave the lies out in the cold to die.

keep it warm in that little knapsack of a brain

close it shut.

open the windows.

let the vultures fly in - to devour the truth and spit out the lies.

for the lies are what remains of my sanity.

haiz. at a down point and i dunno how to retrieve my life.

how to retrieve the life that i had and how to pursue the life that i want.

how do i do tht.

i have no idea as to how to go about doing it.

i have screwed up so badly that i hate myself.

i dun believe i'm gd at anything.

and i suck at my course.

i want to juz slp my whole life away.

aftr all, there's no point in trying.

looking forward to good friday. :)

Picture yourself 30 years from now.
What is it that you want?
If it's the way you're telling me,
Then go!
But please don't take the easy way out!

you're so nice and you're so smart
you're such a good friend
i have to break your heart
i'll tell you that i love you
then i'll tear your world apart

just pretend i didn't tear your world apart

-So Nice So Smart-
=Kimya Dawson=

If i was a flower growing wild and free
All i want is you to be my sweet honeybee
If i was a tree growing tall and green
All i want is you to shave me and be my leaves

All i want is you
Will you be my bride
Take me by the hand
And stand by my side

All i want is you
Will you stay with me
Hold me in your arms
And sway me like the sea

If you were a wink
I'd be a nod
If you were a seed
Well i'd be a pod

If you were the floor
I'd wanna be the rug
If you were a kiss
I know i'd be a hug

All i want is you
Will you be my bride
Take me by the hand
And stand by my side

All i want is you
Will you stay with me
Hold me in your arms
And sway me like the sea

If you were the wood
I'd be the fire
If you were the love
I'd be the desire


All i want is you
Will you be my bride
Take me by the hand
And stand by my side

All i want is you
Will you stay with me
Hold me in your arms
And sway me like the sea

-All I Want Is You-
=Barry Louis Polister=

i'm so fed up by this grp mate who does virtually nothing.

when she does come for meetings she juz stones and waits for time to pass. u wun hear any squeak from her. then most of the times she's either late or doesnt come. and the part she's supposed to do - it's like, half a page long and mostly extracted from the textbook. no analysis nor evaluation. i might as well do it myself. it could have taken a grand total of 5 minutes.

if this continues, i'm gonna write to the teacher. i dun give a shit abt her feelings if she doesnt give a shit abt anyone else's. i've been holding back any comments cos she's my fren's close fren. but the diff is: my fren does all the work she can. i dun understand how busy she can get. unless like u're half studying and half working la.

but if u've got time to paint both ur toenails and fingernails, u haf the time to do more than a half-page report summary.

i've been getting up earli almost every morn these days (well, at least for this week)
-- not with the help of someone, though.

i've been slping late almost every night these days (at least for most of my uni days)
-- not with the help of someone, either!

but i've been surviving all this shit for a long, long time.
-- thanks to that someone. :)

will it STOP raining?

hellooooo~

i'm coughing my guts out here.

i hate coughing fits. i nvr thought i'd hate it more than having the flu. actualli i hate them both.

i hate it and i hate the projs and deadlines and presentations and reports and exams.

i hate them through and through.

ooooooooohhhhhhhhh got 202 quiz tmr.... die.. so many things to read and i'm so slpy~~~~

i'm done with the flu! AGAIN! actualli more sore throat and cough than flu. and it's sickening, cos i get the coughing fits like, every once or twice in a year only and it has to occur now. not when i'm, like, dying for an MC so that i can skip class or smth.

oh well. but the weather's nice today. got a slight drizzle. quite breezy..

and very slp-inducing.

need to read all my 202 cases or else i'll fail tmr's quiz.

why oh why.

my oh my.

and u can't even lie to urself and be in self-denial, thinking tht life will get better. cos it has gotten to a pt that even ur sub-conscious self knws tht it ain't gonna happen.

and even tht irritating little voice in ur head thinks so too.

deep down inside,

we all want to believe we're hard core.

i got into EY's internship program!

i finished part 1 of the IT proj!

i survived today!

so many things to celebrate.

so little time.

today has been such a tiring day.

haiz. so many things i had to do!

had a sucky quiz this morn. study or nvr study also the same.. i think there might be smth wrong with my concepts. cos i didnt realize some of the things i wrote were completely off tangent and that i need to revise my concepts more clearly.

since i can't be as smart, i gotta be more hardworking. i lived by tht principle. used to, at least. but ever since i came to uni, i lost tht goal in mind. hmmm i wonder y.

but now i'm going to start establishing it again.

then aftr the test i had a 2 hr lesson straight. then after tht i had lunch and then had to meet my grp to discuss 213 proj tht needs to be handed in tmr by 5pm. after i've finished updating here i need to go do it again. gotta c wht needs to be improved, format etc.. u knw, those little minute detailing portions.

btw i downloaded mozilla. i dunno y i took so long to do it. my whole internet browser window's PINK now! yay! so happy. haha couldnt find a decent purple backgrnd la, tht's y. but pink is so soothing to the eyes, dun u think?

haha aftr my 213 i need to touch on my 202 and my 214. 202 more impt cos tmr need to discuss le. haiz. okie then.

gotta run!

did u knw?

tht shopping by urself makes time pass damn quickly?

and tht suddenly all tht u want to shop for would be shopped for in a matter of a few minutes?

tht suddenly u want to sit down somewhere and be unnoticed for that few minutes.

Designer: Jessica
image: D.A
Fonts: Dafont
Others: Paint & PhotoShop